이미지 출처 : International Edu Genre
I don’t think I am on a diet but almost all people consider I am on a diet after hearing what I
usually eat.
나는 내가 다이어트를 한다고 생각하지 않지만 내가 보통 무엇을 먹는지 듣고 나면 대부분의 사람들은 내가 다이어트 중이라고 생각한다.
I guess the way I eat is the secret to staying healthy.
내가 먹는 방법이 나의 건강을 유지하는 비결인 것 같다.
I always make sure to drink a lot of water and try to eat enough fresh vegetables and fruits.
나는 언제나 물을 많이 마시고 신선한 과일과 야채를 충분히 섭취하려고 한다.
I usually don’t eat what most people love to eat like soda, coffee, dairy products and sugar
things.
나는 보통 대부분의 사람들이 먹기 좋아하는 탄산음료, 유제품, 설탕같은 것들을 먹지 않는다.
I don’t cut down on those things intentionally.
나는 그것들을 일부러 먹지 않으려고 하는 것은 아니다.
I am very sensitive to caffeine and I don’t enjoy the fizzy feeling when I drink soda so drinking coffee and soda don’t appeal to me.
나는 카페인에 매우 민감하고 탄산음료를 마실 때 입안에 느낌으 좋아하지 않아서 커피나 탄산음료 마시는 것은 나에게 매력적이지 않다.
Also, I wouldn’t dream of eating processed foods and fast foods.
또한 나는 가공식품이나 패스트 푸드를 먹는 것은 생각해보지도 않았다.
This is because of my mom’s education. My mom never allowed me to eat junk food when I was a kid.
이것은 우리 엄마의 교육 방침 때문이다. 우리 엄마는 내가 어렸을 때 절대 패스트푸드를 먹지 못하게 했다.
However, I am a human. I need to be social.
하지만 나도 사람이고 사회적 동물이다.
There are so many delicious foods out there and I meet friends over dinner or drinking.
세상에 맛있는 음식들은 정말 많고 친구들과 저녁이나 술을 마시기도 한다.
Then I just eat whatever I want and I fast for at least 16 hours the next day to give my body a rest from processing so many things that aren’t really good for it.
그러면 난 그냥 내가 먹고 싶은 것을 먹고 그 다음날 적어도 16시간 동안 단식을 해서 몸에 안좋은 많은 것들을 처리하는 일에서 몸을 좀 쉬게 한다.
첨삭 후
I don’t consider myself to be on a diet but a lot of other people think I am on a diet after
hearing what I usually eat. I guess the way I eat is my secret to staying healthy.
I always make sure to drink a lot of water and try to eat enough fresh vegetables and fruits. I
usually don’t eat what most people love to eat like soda, coffee, dairy products or sugary
things. I didn’t cut down on those things intentionally. I am just very sensitive to caffeine and
I don’t enjoy the fizzy feeling when I drink soda so drinking coffee and soda don’t appeal to
me. Also, I wouldn’t dream of eating processed food and fast food. This is because of the
way my mom raised me. My mom never allowed me to eat junk food when I was a kid.
However, I am a human. I need to be social. There are so many delicious foods out there
and I meet friends over dinner or drinks. Then I just eat whatever I want but I fast for at least
16 hours the next day to give my body a rest from processing so many things that aren’t
really good for it.
첨삭 코멘트
Good writing.
Your opening sentence gave a clear idea of what you think. However, when we say "I don't think..."
it sounds more like "I don't know," and you would know whether you're on a diet or not. I changed it
to "consider" because this shows that in your opinion, you're not on a diet even though other
people may think so.
Good job listing your habits in present tense!
I liked the way you used 'I wouldn't dream of..." very natural!
We often use 'food' as a noncount noun.
Your 'mom's education' sounds like because she went to college. So it's better to say 'the way
mom raised me' or 'the things my mom taught me.'
Overall, very good writing! You have a good grasp of English grammar and did a good job using a
variety of interesting expressions and vocabulary. Most of the corrections were to make your
writing a little more clear or to add some emotion behind what you're saying. Keep up the great
work!
느낀 점
food 불가산 명사
어디선가 foods를 봤던 것 같은데 언제 s를 붙이고 언제 안붙이는지 알아봐야겠다.
furniture, staff, stuff모두 s 안붙이는 것들
mom's education이거 100% 잘못 쓴 내 실수.
역시 급하게 작문을 하니 실수가 많다.
A busy mind will destroy your ability to creat anything great.
마음이 바쁘면 대단한 걸 만들 수 없다.
